dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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