Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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