And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
