Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
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so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
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Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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