My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
