and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
