I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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