And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You made out with two different species that night
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
