last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
