the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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