i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
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Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
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Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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