so explain again why im purple
no
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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