If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Less talking, more tequila
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
