Dual....:-)
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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