I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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