I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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