I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Randomize
