If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize