Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
