The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize