Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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