can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
