took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
