I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
