College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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