In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
