he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
