New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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