Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
