I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
