I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
