my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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