he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
