Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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