so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
