There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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