I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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