im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
