I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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