People in love make me want to vomit
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
