In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
