Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I think my moral compass just broke
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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