I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
