He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
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