Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
