I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize