i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
