We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
