I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
