Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
