Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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