i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
