also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
