I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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