Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I miss vodka workout Fridays
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
