he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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