my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize