I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
