Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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