Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
