i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
