I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize