dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's Friday. Sex?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
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we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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