Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
