I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is it because I queefed?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
