Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
