How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
